I just bought these on eBay:
OK, they're not fancy-shmancy carbon ones, but they were only $23 with shipping and insurance. And they'll give me practice replacing things on the bike. And if they get bent by tipping over, no big deal, for only $23, right? And I'll get to learn how to do something new in bike maintenance! I still have some leftover handlebar tape, too, which I hope will be sufficient. I'll document the whole process on the blog when I do the changeover.
Many, many thanks to Flatman for his great backchannel advice and assistance throughout the process and finding these for me! Next time I'm down your way I'll buy the first round.
Maybe I'll spend that $377 that I saved on a cool aero Storm Trooper helmet like Bolder.