I have no talent for bathroom humor. If I did, I'd be a Nytro or a Jeanne. But I'm not.
So I'm in no way trying to be funny when I talk about this Problem I have.
The Problem happens during afternoon runs.
You see, Command Central has determined that the official standard time to jettison excess cargo is from 0700 to 0800. That schedule can be over-ridden and moved up only for very special mission-critical functions, like races. Never moved back.
And the jettison process is NEVER EVER supposed to initiate from 1630 to 1730 when running is on the schedule.
Somebody over-rode the damn failsafe switch. Two or three times now. Heads are going to roll.
And NO, I'm not going to start wearing diapers like the astronauts do on launch or re-entry or when driving from Houston to Orlando to threaten romantic rivals. (Uh, she has twin girls too, btw. I'd vouch for an insanity defense).
13 comments:
I admit I have a similar issue with early morning training. Its hard to just get up and go. As a result, I get up about 30-45 minutes earlier and work the process before I leave as best I can. Usually it works out just fine.
Yeah, I'm in the same boat as Comm only I use coffee to move things along.
Drugs, Nancy? Better living through chemistry?
I have no problem at all with the standard 0700-0800 time!! That works perfectly!!
It's these rampant S.O.P. violations that I can't tolerate!
i had to cut Sunday afternoon's long run short because my usual pit-stop at mile 1.5ish (when the gears really get going) was locked. They shut off the water so the pipes won't freeze, but that left me high-tailing it back to Casa Skatemom in a hurry. I feel your pain, but have nothing to offer in terms of a remedy.
For training runs, I just make sure I'm near a restroom as much as possible. For racing, you can try taking an Immodium the night before. It'll mean fewer pit stops for a few days after, but if you can be patient with that little problem, all will correct itself in due time and you'll have spared yourself some time in some very unsavory port-a-potties.
I have found that doing my morning ab/core routine prior to running gets things moving prior to the run and has resolved my issues.
On the days when I don't do the ab/core workout, I lift weights and it has the same effect.
And the ab workout helps one develop a kick butt rock hard belly as well.
Hmmm. Perhaps the system just requires some time to fully accommodate a new more vegetable based fuel mix ...
This is a very funny post!
Coffee is the brew for the "do",
but I get up early too on race
mornings so I can take care of business.
Hate having to go, when there "is"
no place "to" go :(
I, too, have this same problem. Did some research last year, and apparently, it's pretty common. As another person suggested, I take Immodium b/f races (only 1/2 tablet). Otherwise, I just hope for a pottie along the way. Frustrating, isn't it? :P
It's a crappy problem if you ask me but one many a runner has to deal with.
Of course it doesn't help that here in Calgary they now have a law about doing such things in public. They also have one about putting your feet on benches. Sheeessshhhh, obviously none of these guys are runners...lol.
oh you're pretty damn funny. that was masterfully written.
my entire system went wacko when i had to get up at 4:30 to train. I never did find the answer, although some VERY wise woman told me dehydration can play a part.
I read somewhere that drinking some caffein first thing in the morning gets things, um, moving quickly. I also take magnesium at night, and it seems to work. More than you wanted to know about me, I'm sure, but there it is. However, on my super long run days (12 miles or more) I do take a wad of TP in my running pack *just in case...*
The morning jettison is fully operational!!!! No problem there!!!!!!!
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