This has nothing to do with anything, other than a little YouTube clip that I was just enjoying. Here's one of my favorite Bible verses to interpret as the literal true Word of God, 2 Kings 2:
23 Then he [Elisha] went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!”
24 So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.
An alternative translation:
23 Elisha left and headed toward Bethel. Along the way some boys started making fun of him by shouting, "Go away, baldy! Get out of here!"
24 Elisha turned around and stared at the boys. Then he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Right away two bears ran out of the woods and ripped to pieces forty-two of the boys.
And that's one of the good guys. So for you follicularly-challenged folks out there, just feel free to call out the bears to maul anyone who dares mock you. You've got God's full backing on that. I suppose He must be overly sensitive about His receding hairline too.
What's your favorite?