We need some Chick Laws here.
- There is nothing unfeminine about snot rockets or barfing on course. Unless you hit someone.
- It's okay to pee in the wetsuit. Or in the bushes. Or on the bike. Just don't announce it - or ewwww, grunt - while doing it.
- Passing guys on the bike is totally feminine.
- Pink is fast. Red is faster.
- Make-up is purely optional, particularly on race day.
- It's important for helmets and nails to color-coordinate for the total triathlon experience.
- Guys who stink during a triathlon also stink when they're not doing a triathlon.
- Clydesdales who swim over chicks on purpose or grab their legs are the worst abomination in the sport.
- Everybody but you really thinks you look hot in a trisuit. Enjoy.
- Everybody looks fat in a wetsuit. Don't worry about it, it's NOT your hips.
- Only men would think they look good in a Speedo. They should just lose it unless their name ends in McCormack, Sultan, or Stadler.
- Tan lines aren't sexy. SPF 45 sunblock that actually stays on - that's sexy.
- Anybody who tries to hit on you in a transition zone before a race or "fix your bike for you" is a creep to be avoided - after they fix your bike, that is.
- Being fast never justifies being rude. Especially to volunteers.
- It's okay to cry for mechanical problems or hills that really hurt or when approaching finish lines as long as you don't stop moving while you cry.
- Finishing with your children shows the world what a Tri-Goddess you really are. Just don't mess up anyone else's finishing photo.
- Yeah, if we had our own personal anabolic steroid doping system we'd be faster and more muscular and lose weight easier too.
- You think running hard hurts? Don't make me laugh. Try childbirth.
Hmmm. Give me some more, ladies!