tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post113725333192384019..comments2023-10-29T05:59:52.825-04:00Comments on Nancy Toby: Run Big!: Disappointment?Nancy Tobyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18402516081283603553noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137474929559585912006-01-17T00:15:00.000-05:002006-01-17T00:15:00.000-05:00okay I just went back and read my chang race repor...okay I just went back and read my chang race report to make sure I wasn't going to be a hypocrit. <BR/><BR/>I do beat myself up for not doing well. I don't think it has to do with being a sourpuss but I think I just expect to much from myself. <BR/><BR/>I think also that I base some of my predicted finish on observations I make in training. Like I wrote in my post, I have run faster splits in training than races.<BR/><BR/>I think all of us have done that at some point and either consciously or subconsciously build into our minds a great race that can never be attained really. <BR/><BR/>Not to be a pig,(okay I am a pig, but not to be overtly sexual, okay its overtly sexual, you'll know what i mean here) but just remember the first time you had sex with someone new. That first experience probably wasn't everything you wanted it to be. It was still pretty good, it just didn't really, really make it to dream status. But as the relationship moved along the sex gets better. Just like running, you love it, but it could have been just a little bit better.Comm'shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01351781836311483147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137449673686187912006-01-16T17:14:00.000-05:002006-01-16T17:14:00.000-05:00One argument that I don't buy is when people say (...One argument that I don't buy is when people say (I paraphrase) "I'm a competitive athlete, so therefore I have to be a race sourpuss when I don't meet my goals". No. There are gracious finishers at every pace and every level of ability. There are also soreheads at every level, unfortunately.Nancy Tobyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18402516081283603553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137448236868399912006-01-16T16:50:00.000-05:002006-01-16T16:50:00.000-05:00Wow, what an excellent discussion. I try not to be...Wow, what an excellent discussion. I try not to be a race sourpuss. I do get disappointed with myself but not always because of my time. God knows, I'm never going to break any records but I do have expectations I set for myself. Generally after the first few minutes I look at the bright side; I finished, I didn't get injured, I had fun, etc. <BR/><BR/>This year has been such a learning experience for me what with injuries and facing new challenges and every single race has taught me something. I try never to have a bad attitude about it and I try never to bring people around me down. I try to be the cheerleader - rah rah, we finished, yeah!!!!Flohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03178703086017106765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137420189759136982006-01-16T09:03:00.000-05:002006-01-16T09:03:00.000-05:00That's a tough question/discussion. I'm currently...That's a tough question/discussion. I'm currently trying to unwind my race thinking in my head-on the the one hand I just love racing-the atmosphere, the people, it's all good. On the other hand, growing up as an extremely competitive athlete, who performed almost entirely for stats and to hear "good job", in a family that told you the only value you had was the value you add to the family by making them look good, and who had enough raw talent to do pretty much anything I attempted, it can be dissapointing to set goal and not achieve it-primarily because I feel like I give up mid race and work just to finish. I set a goal based on training, but then at times, mid race I realize I need that competitive chip that says "win or die trying" and I don't want any part of that any longer-so I don't meet my goal.<BR/><BR/>I think the people who pout do so because that is what they were taught by parents, coaches etc. Just go to a little league game and watch. For a lot of parents, they invest all of their ego, time and money in their kids performance and anything short of winning is losing. <BR/><BR/>Sad really-it's by far better to Carpe Diem!tri-mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17770606044307572284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137419176013100362006-01-16T08:46:00.000-05:002006-01-16T08:46:00.000-05:00I think Chris hit on a good point with the visuali...I think Chris hit on a good point with the visualization thing. I think quite a few people's visualization is out of synch with their training. You can't visualize yourself finishing any faster than you trained to race. Visualization works best when applied to specific things like running and pedalling smoothly. Not quite as exciting as visualizing yourself breaking the banner in world record time, but really, what good is that if you don't have the training to back it up? I purposely don't let myself visualize race day, only training. I've never been upset with a finish and I always finish within seconds of my expected time.TriDaddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08517163516478919600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137365339742332992006-01-15T17:48:00.000-05:002006-01-15T17:48:00.000-05:00You know I am the "cheerleader of training" but co...You know I am the "cheerleader of training" but come race day, I tend to be very high maintenance and will look for an "out" where ever I can find it in terms of pushing hard.<BR/><BR/>When the race is done, I am usually very proud of the accomplishment but left wondering, how much more could I have done... I keep in all in my head, though. I never knock my own accomplishments or complain. <BR/><BR/>I have run with folks who berate themselves after a race and I will always congratulate their effort and wish them better luck with their goals next time but I *never* indulge them if they start to pour it on...Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09681721665977312271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137365181948029092006-01-15T17:46:00.000-05:002006-01-15T17:46:00.000-05:00As for Dawn's whiner:If she chose to stay behind a...As for Dawn's whiner:<BR/>If she chose to stay behind and help another runner, I think she should have the good manners not to complain about it. Think how that would make the other person FEEL. That is NOT helping them. Wow - what a "friend" she is. <BR/><BR/>If you honestely CANNOT stop with a free heart, GO ON and make your goal. <BR/><BR/>MOST marathons have other runners out there. At times, I have helped strangers when I've been hurting myself AND other times when I've been feeling good. Kindness takes an instant. <BR/><BR/>I've had some races where I felt like I was running really well, really fast. Then get to the clock, and I'm WAY WAY behind a PR for the distance. I have uttered words to the effect of "What a lousy time!" <BR/><BR/>Then I usually look at the race to see WHY my time judgement was "off". Usually I think it's just good days vs. bad days - biorhythms or something.<BR/><BR/>But no, it does not ruin my day. There's another weekend NEXT week. I'll do better in THAT run (or not!) <BR/><BR/>I'm a distance runner, NOT a racer, really. And my priorities are very different from some other's priorities. BUT: Your attitude is what YOU make it.*jeanne*https://www.blogger.com/profile/07786378434413037583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137348227828070482006-01-15T13:03:00.000-05:002006-01-15T13:03:00.000-05:00Good post! I ran into this a few years ago. A girl...Good post! I ran into this a few years ago. A girl from our running group (not here in Calgary) was training for her first marathon. I was training for my first half. She was an excellent runner and worked hard. Her goal was to finish under 5 hours. <BR/><BR/>During the race her running partner had problems and told her to go on. She chose to stay with her friend. Near the end her friend felt better and took off, so did she but she finished beyond the 5 hour goal by a few minutes. <BR/><BR/>For the next hour or so as we all hung out all she did was harp and complain about not making her goal and how she HAD to stay back,etc. Even the next few runs we all did she still complained and whined about it.<BR/><BR/>At the time I had never even thought a marathon was possible for me. That she had done one I thought was cool and had even congratulated her. She had snarled back at anyone who congratulated her.<BR/><BR/>Funny I had a slow half time in July 2005 cause I stayed back to help out another runner, a complete stranger. Heh you get the same medal if you finish 100th or last so why not help someone else finish was my attitude. It made me feel good - not disappointed in my time at all. I finished the race, so did she and I ran into her at another race where she again thanked me. Her thank you was worth more than any PR or medal!<BR/><BR/>I think the only time I might really complain is if I ever get within a hair of qualifying for Boston...lol.Dawn - Pink Chick Trishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09627072932001752189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137347414097614152006-01-15T12:50:00.000-05:002006-01-15T12:50:00.000-05:00Nancy great post... For me, the race is the victor...Nancy great post... For me, the race is the victory lap, so to speak. The real thrill and measure of it all is the *training* that went into it, which should also be fun... So, to answer your question, race day should be fun, fun, FUN!<BR/><BR/>I set goals for myself though, and there are times when race day is less than satisfactory... When that happens, I just remind myself of the above and smile. <BR/><BR/>Now, as for what others do... I try not to judge. I don't know where they are coming from, and for all I know walking 26.2 miles could be a HUGE *athletic* accomplishment for them. Good on them, I say! :)TriZillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04005478261080961871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137303374871340572006-01-15T00:36:00.000-05:002006-01-15T00:36:00.000-05:00I usually tend to set goals for myself but if they...I usually tend to set goals for myself but if they aren't working out that day, I remind myself that my running is a celebration of life and health and let it go. I try not to be disappointed when I don't make a PR. In fact, I have found that the times I have PRed I have gone in with no plan for even coming close to a PR, so it's a pleasant surprise!<BR/><BR/>I was a little disappointed with Seattle but it wasn't so much disappointed in my performance as it was in how I felt. I was depressed a few days after and was questioning if I should do it again. I think I went in too worried about whether I "should" do the marathon and didn't just go and have fun.<BR/><BR/>GEnerally on a race, though, I just grin and have fun. I figure I'll never be the fastest or the best, but I tell myself I can have fun and motivate others!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18031232209853522144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137296646125007632006-01-14T22:44:00.000-05:002006-01-14T22:44:00.000-05:00hell no! excellent post!!hell no! excellent post!!Bolderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11468747570730558685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137292008515649312006-01-14T21:26:00.000-05:002006-01-14T21:26:00.000-05:00Good discussion, folks! And no no no, I'm not refe...Good discussion, folks! And no no no, I'm not referring to any of the bloggers we know and love. :-) I'm actually generalizing about a few different people.Nancy Tobyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18402516081283603553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137291423422108992006-01-14T21:17:00.000-05:002006-01-14T21:17:00.000-05:00I'm with Fe-Lady: " I did the best that I could on...I'm with Fe-Lady: " I did the best that I could on that day...and move on."<BR/><BR/>Sometimes it all comes together. Sometimes it doesn't. Ask Paula Radcliffe.<BR/><BR/>If world record-holders can have bad days, I certainly can. I'm in this sport for the fun of it and going around being La Grumpette isn't any fun at all. The sore muscles are bad enough. No need to add attitude.Ann (bunnygirl)https://www.blogger.com/profile/04938134750150653386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137288356657269392006-01-14T20:25:00.000-05:002006-01-14T20:25:00.000-05:00What a thought-provoking post! Danny and Jeanne - ...What a thought-provoking post! Danny and Jeanne - Nancy is NOT referring to you. You are not wandering post-race whining to everyone who comes within earshot. You have your personal opinion of your race performance and you did your best to put a positive spin on it. <BR/>Some folks aren't happy unless they have something to complain about. Some complainers happen to also be runners, so they complain about running and racing. <BR/>And since removing them from the planet would land us in jail, they're still around.<BR/>Jeanne, you're the happiest runner I've ever seen.Dianne W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03175349586027863110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137285751774414542006-01-14T19:42:00.000-05:002006-01-14T19:42:00.000-05:00You definitely have the right attitide. I am gener...You definitely have the right attitide. I am generally tough on myself after a race-but then I am tough on myself about many things. But I don't go around complaining the rest of the day or week. I usually come to the conclusion that I did the best that I could on that day...and move one.<BR/>Re: Tile mosaic; Thanks for the compliment but... Didn't make the one pictured-but hope to post mine when I am finished with it (Four weeks from now or so!)Fe-ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07986479866903093934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137283526396426492006-01-14T19:05:00.000-05:002006-01-14T19:05:00.000-05:00Danny, I just saw your comment--oh I can relate!! ...Danny, I just saw your comment--oh I can relate!! Same thing happened with my marathon, but I too hope I wasn't a sourpuss. I talked about my disappointment some on my blog (hey, that's what blogs are for, right??!), and then I let it go. <BR/><BR/>But you are NOT in the minority and I don't think Nancy is talking about people like you (or me, I hope!)jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15105083650427355181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137283212360330932006-01-14T19:00:00.000-05:002006-01-14T19:00:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15105083650427355181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137283172488914742006-01-14T18:59:00.000-05:002006-01-14T18:59:00.000-05:00Provocative post.I sure hope I'm not a sourpuss. A...Provocative post.<BR/><BR/>I sure hope I'm not a sourpuss. And I guess I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that those folks who are upset with their times are just fishing for compliments...could be, as chris said that they're just disappointed with what they envisioned happening versus what actually happened.<BR/>Still, there's never any excuse for being a poor sport, or acting obnoxious around othersjeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15105083650427355181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137283044047034642006-01-14T18:57:00.000-05:002006-01-14T18:57:00.000-05:00I was disappointed after my marathon, and so I gue...I was disappointed after my marathon, and so I guess I'm a race sourpuss. I tried to be upbeat about the whole experience, but there was definitely a (big) side of me that was disappointed in my performance. And what you said about fishing for compliments? I found the exact opposite is true. When you tell people you ran a marathon, everyone tells you how amazing you were no matter what your time is. I found it irritating when people who know nothing about marathons would tell me my time "was great".<BR/><BR/>So, since I seem to be in the minority here, let me try and explain. Running a marathon is definitely a goal by itself. However, I can't help but feel that if one were going slow enough, the accomplishment wouldn't be the same. As an extreme example, somebody who walked 26.2 miles over a week would not really be considered an athlete. This could also be done without any training whatsoever. So in order to feel some sort of athletic challenge, most people set themselves a certain goal - or a set of goals - when running a race. By having a goal it makes it easier for me to train. If I knew I could take 30 minute walking breaks every mile, I wouldn't have trained as hard. So when I didn't meet what I had thought was a reasonable goal for myself, I was disappointed. Because after many months of training, I did not accomplish what had been in my mind all that time. Obviously these goals were personal and specific to me. So yes, I realize I was not going to win the race, and I was not upset that I didn't qualify for Boston, but I was disappointed in that I didn't do as well as I thought I could.<BR/><BR/>You know how they say the last 6.2 miles of a marathon are in your head? That's because it hurts and it's tough to keep running then. If you could just stop running and walk those last miles, you'd still finish the marathon. But you wouldn't have won that little mind game. I think I feel disappointed in not winning that mind game.<BR/><BR/>I definitely want to say that I tried not to be like the person you described in your post. I was not negative around everybody, and tried to look at the positive side of the experience. I'm definitely happy to have run a marathon, and I'm proud of that accomplishment. But I do understand the other side of it, and I don't look down upon those feelings.<BR/><BR/>I could probably go on and on (even more than I already have) about this topic. (As it is I'll probably generate some negative feedback with this seemingly minority opinion.) I hope this explains things a little.Dannyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06003688052500527835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137282302721337902006-01-14T18:45:00.000-05:002006-01-14T18:45:00.000-05:00I was surprised to see that I was always smiling i...I was surprised to see that I was always smiling in the Disney photos! I'm not always smiling when it gets hard, believe me! I just don't put those frowning/concentrating photos up on my blog because they're usually not very... attractive.Nancy Tobyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18402516081283603553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137279355410341072006-01-14T17:55:00.000-05:002006-01-14T17:55:00.000-05:00Great post. I'm not competive but I still find my...Great post. I'm not competive but I still find myself trying to measure up.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07183448760614051130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137277659689213592006-01-14T17:27:00.000-05:002006-01-14T17:27:00.000-05:00I think it's a form of egotism. They think that t...I think it's a form of egotism. They think that they ought to be better because they feel superior, and want to show others what high standards they hold themselves to. Even though they know full well that other people would be glad to do as well as they did.Miss Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00551030274324691717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137270992135524052006-01-14T15:36:00.000-05:002006-01-14T15:36:00.000-05:00Heh, I'd rather speak in generalities here, don't ...Heh, I'd rather speak in generalities here, don't want to point any fingers! :-)Nancy Tobyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18402516081283603553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137268261522637882006-01-14T14:51:00.000-05:002006-01-14T14:51:00.000-05:00nope, I'm just happy as a puppy to be running arou...nope, I'm just happy as a puppy to be running around with everybody!<BR/>I understand what you're saying though. I invited my colleagues-friends to run a race with me and they fake-complained that they didn't run fast. They of course arrived in less than 30' for a 5K, and then complained to other people that they were too slow (ahem! I am in the room people!) Obviously they didn't really think they were slow, they just wanted reassurance from their boyfriend etc... That's the kind of needy behaviour that pisses me off, but what can you do. :-P<BR/>Did some Goofy finishers complain about their time? What prompted your post (I'm curious ;-) )Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11232148.post-1137266339558529882006-01-14T14:18:00.000-05:002006-01-14T14:18:00.000-05:00Nancy,It is like they enjoy pouring salt on their ...Nancy,<BR/><BR/>It is like they enjoy pouring salt on their own wounds. I found that people enjoy self pity. <BR/><BR/>I agree with what you are saying Nancy. I often tell my friends getting into runs or what not that if they are feeling frustrated from training. And training is suppose to be a stress relief, then why train at all?<BR/><BR/>I believe the feeling of frustration is a choice. We feel what we want to feel. And we, at times, want to feel self pity b/c part of it makes us feel good.Cliffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03227378544813320248noreply@blogger.com